Updating on Aloha Living

I have been wanting to get back into blogging for a while now and was contemplating starting a new blog seeing that I feel like I have grown and changed so much since I last used The Graber Life.  But isn't that kind of the point?  Seeing how your life has changed and evolved through the years.  That being said, how do I update you on the past year?  Well for starters I finally went back to school in January 2013 and am working on my MA in Marriage and Family Therapy with the hopes of graduating in 2014, pursuing my license, and then eventually my board certification in Christian Sex Therapy.  I know, big dreams right?  I do love having a plan and constantly working to better myself.  It has been a ton of work but I definitely feel like it is where I am suppose to be right now.  I am still an ABA therapist but I did go down to part time when we got pregnant with the littlest Graber... Yes, that is right, in just seven short weeks our little man will be joining our crazy little family.  We are so excited to meet him and I am having a ton of fun working on the nursery.  Of course, I would have huge ambitions of the whole thing being a DIY project from refinishing the furniture, making the bedding, and creating all my own decorations.  Ahhh, such a huge project but you know I love it.  Hopefully I will post pictures in the next few weeks of all of it coming into place. 

Here are some updated pictures of our little family...

Two weeks of Bliss

What can I say?  R&R is suppose to be amazing and it was.  I felt so blessed to have Michael here for my graduation and also to spend time with family and friends.  The cherry on top of the trip was being surprised with an extra day on the end!  I love my man and can't wait for him to be permanently home in the fall!

The Grand Finally!

What a crazy four years it has been!  I was thinking back upon it all today and thinking about how grateful I am to be completing my undergrad in four years!  

I could not have made it to this point without the unconditional support of my husband, family, friends, and professors.  These years have stretched me and forced me to grow in so many ways.  I am looking forward to all the opportunities in the future, all the opportunities that this education has opened for me.  Thank you all for your support through this incredible journey!

Broken

There comes a point when God takes your own little picture of what life and reality are like and he shatters it.  I have thought that has happened in my life before.  Little did I know that every glimpse of the bigger world was only preparing me for something more.

Over the past nine months I have been working with street-dependent youth.  What does this mean?  I thought this meant I was learning how to help a population in need, how to rally the community into action, and how to make a mark on social injustice.  However, I am learning something much greater.  I am learning that the face behind the sign on the corner is an individual with a story.  An individual with pain, needs, and desires.  Who am I to judge that person without knowing their story? 

The past months I have heard stories of trauma and survival.  Stories I had read about in books, but now can match with a face.  Many of these are victims of horrible crimes and the sad part is they often don't realize it. 

Today was different.  Today I heard the story, not of a victim, but of a survivor!

I cannot think of his story without tears in my eyes and the realization that I have had a blessed life.  My heart breaks for this 21-year-old brilliant individual with only a 3rd grade education.  At 8-years-old his father made him kill his loved dog with his bear hands and then sold him to a Russian mob for a months worth of meth.  He was then placed in a cage to fight other children for entertainment.  He had to do unimaginable things simply to survive.  At night he was chained in a basement until one day he took a marble statue and crushed the chains around his wrists in order to escape.  He tells me this as he shows me his bent and scarred hands.  He story goes on to tell of selling drugs for a place to sleep, being kicked out by his mother for simply looking like his dad, and then his dad driving him into the middle of the desert only to leave him to die. 

I cannot believe the many stories this one individual told me through the tears.  How can one life suffer so much?  He tells me he is unlovable and everyone that should have been there for him has never cared.  He tells me he forgives them because the hate will only "rot me from the inside out."  With a smile on his tear streaked face he tells me he knows what his purpose is.  To help people like him.  To help them avoid the pain, stay off the drugs, and not sever relationships with the ones they love. 

I am unable to give this story justice and to express the emotion that it deserves.   This one individual has opened awareness on so many different levels for me today.  Don't forget to say I love you today, don't forget to thank the Lord for all He has provided and especially the lack of pain!  I urge you to think twice next time you see an individual asking for food on the side of the road.  Remember, each of us has a story and most of all, each of us are children of God!

Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.  Proverbs 21:13

Senior Presentation

One of the things that has been taking so much of my time lately has been my capstone presentation research.  It is very exciting but a ton of work.  If you are interested in knowing what I am looking at, here is a copy of the abstract for the presentation.

Needing a Place to Call Home: A Emic Perspective of Homeless Youth

                Teens and young adults who are living without a permanent or adequate residence often face struggles regarding social norms, fitting in with the larger society, and even issues regarding their own identity.  Youth without a permanent home often adopt street habits and lifestyle as a way of survival and may internalize this as part of their identity.  This can make it difficult for staff at resource centers who wish to help the homeless youth “better” their situation.  For homeless youth, giving up part of their street lifestyle for a more conventional one, may feel like losing part of their identity and the security they have found in it.  This presentation encourages case managers and mentors to learn the emic importance of street lifestyle before suggesting change to more mainstream ideas and action.

Action Anthropology

The big old world of Anthropology can be dangerous and confusing to try to navigate through.  Most people I talk to don't even know what it is, so maybe because I have dedicated so much of my life to this discipline, maybe I should explain it... At least from my point of view. 

Anthropology in it's most basic of terms is the study of cultures.  It is the study of how groups of people act, talk, express and feel.  At this point, most people I talk to say something along the lines of, "I get it, you are a people watcher!"  Yes and no.  See we anthropologists do so much more than observe, we try to interpret the meanings behind cultural acts.  In reality this is a day in the life of an anthropologist... Participant observation, analyze, interview, analyze, observe, analyze, survey, analyze, research, analyze, re-interview, analyze, report.  Needless to say, there is a lot of analyzing and interpretating.

Now there are many branches of anthropology that I wont try to get into but I should let you know that I am an action anthropologist.  The name it itself is a contradiction but I kinda like that.  I believe as an anthropologist I have the skills and ability to see the world from many points of view, see how people come together, where they clash, and assist in developing a plan of action to better the situation.  I believe in advocacy, policy change, and simply taking an active role in making this world a better place. 

Anyway, this post is getting long and most likely boring to most of you.  I wanted to let you in on the project I have dedicated the past 7 months to...

Since the fall I have been working as a volunteer at a local goal oriented research center for homeless youth.  It has been amazing learning the stories of many of these individuals including where they are originally from, how they ended up on the streets, and how difficult it is to move out of homelessness.  One of the biggest things I have noticed though is the lack of awareness community members have about the situation.  Many look at homeless people in a very negative light, as if they deserve it or asked for it.  My activist side has come out and I want to help people understand the complexity of the situation.  I am currently working on a research project to learn migration patterns of homeless youth and some of the difficulties they face when they try to move out of their situations.  I'm letting you all know about this because I will probably be talking much more about it because I tend to get pretty passionate about my research.  I have a lot of work to do in a few short weeks with a due date of May 31, but I am excited that I should be finished just in time for RnR!

sfAA in Seattle!

The Society for Applied Anthropology annual meeting this year was great.  Went to some awesome lectures and did some networking.  Rethinking the focus of my capstone paper and even some of my career goals.  It re-sparked my interest in working with domestic refugees, and even working to bridge some of the gap between military families and civilians. 

Some good things to think about but don't worry, the trip was not all educational.  Here are some pictures from some of the play time :)

 The SOU students.

 Megan and I loving girls nights!

 Jordan wines!

Alishia and I out shopping :)

Back to School

First week of my last term... Happiness!  What does my week look like?  Well here it is...

Monday - I don't have school on Mondays so I decided to spend some quality time in the gym seeing that my 'race' is coming up quick.  A little sweaty and 7.5 miles later I called it a workout, or so I thought.  Heather and I have been talking about biking to some classes this term so we decided to give it a trial run.  22 miles later we were both a little sore. 

Tuesday - Today I had my first capstone class.  Lot of work to do in just a few short weeks.  I will need to finish putting together all my research from my practicum project as well as write an analytical research paper on the struggles of being a homeless teen.  The paper I will have to present at the end of the term as well.  Lots to do!

Wednesday-Saturday - I am heading to Seattle for a few days with some classmates and professors for a national applied anthropology conference.  Should be pretty fun and hopefully I will get to listen to some pretty amazing anthropologists!

Talk about an exciting week back!

My Last Spring Break!

Wow, how fast can two weeks go by?  Trip to WSU, hikes, time with friends, and some much needed me time!  Here are a few pictures from the happy days...

 Drew and I... We don't believe in growing up!

 Lance and I on the top of Table Rock.

 Kinda wet at the top.

Dasha and I hiking down in the cold, dark, beautiful night!

Oh Happiness!

So friends, I can officially say it... I am done with this darn term!  I must say it was busy and with the stress of Michael being gone to, I think I reached my limit.  I am excited for the next two weeks to rejuvenate myself and work on some person goals.  For today that means I got an extra hour of sleep, now I am off to spend some quality time on the treadmill, taking the kids swimming this afternoon, and this evening I plan on going out with a group of friends to celebrate another term down!  Yeah, spring break is never really calmer for me but I hope it will be encouraging.

The last two weeks of school really killed my workout schedule and my eating healthy goals.  I am really going to try to get back into this system.  Less than a month 'til the Pear Blossom run so I got to get moving!

Difficult Days

Every once in a while deployments get to just get to me, and I think it is ok to admit when it happens.  You would think after 18 months of collective deployments I would have this down. 

Tonight in class I had to watch Black Hawk Down and analyze it from an anti-war perspective.  It was harsh.  I guess it was just a reminder of how far apart we are and how much I miss him.

I am so thankful that my man is in a "safe" area, calls me every chance he gets, and is so supportive and understanding with all my ups and downs. 

<3 Praying every day for my loves safe return and my sanity while he is away <3

Right about 3 months!

Now we all know about army time, right?  The fact that you are given a date and know that it will be sometime around that date but it definitely wont be that exact date... :)  Well that is how R&R is going to be.  So for me, I am planning on my husband getting his short two week leave at the end of may or beginning of June.  That means we are right about three months away!  Three months sounds so much better than four months right?!?  So, today I can't help but be thankful for February being a short month, the distraction of school, and the ability to check days of my calendar.  I so can't wait to give my man a hug!

Michael and I got some great plans for R&R which include my graduation, car shopping, and running away for a week together to see the Oregon places we love so much!  I am not normally a big counter of the days when he gets back just because I know from experience that the dates are always flexible and also it can just get so downright depressing seeing how many days left.  Instead I count the months and obstacles in between us.  This is what I have come up with...

1. Finals next week
2. Spring break trip to see Drew
3. My first 10 mile run
4. My final term at SOU

Of course my list changes and grows but these are the big things I get to look forward to before we are reunited.  I have to look forward to the small things, even if they aren't much fun like finals, in order to better appreciate the big things in life!

Girl's Nights and Birthdays!

In the midst of chaos with school, work, and deployments one of my favorite and only times to breathe are girls nights.  This past week Heather and I sat aside our books for a few hours and went on a cupcake craze.  Thank you Brooke for having a birthday and letting us indulge on sweets!

Senior Year

Have I mentioned that I am taking nineteen credits this term?  Yeah, it is too much.  So I am wrapping up dead week right now and something like three presentations and five papers in four days... did I mention that it is too much?

Trying to keep my head above water here and have observed that I have no social life outside of school.  This makes me realize how thankful I am for some of my school friends, namely Heather and Brooke, who keep me smiling and getting assignments in on time.  Can't wait to start my final term with these guys!

Oh, and I can't wait til spring break!  I am going to be house sitting most of the time which will be so nice to have my own space.  Also, going to make a quick trip up to see my little brother at WSU.  Going to make some good memories.  

These are a few of my favorite things...

I think it is good to every once in a while to make a list of some of my favorite things in life.  It is fun to look back at these and see what I enjoyed so much during a time in my life :)  It is kinda like putting in an old mix tape and I can totally tell what faze in life I was in at the time...  Anyway, my list for today!

1. Regular phone calls from the love of my life.
2. A warm cup of coffee.
3. Cupcakes
4. Friends that I can stay up all night talking to.
5. Pandora
6. The new Thompson Square CD.
7. Current technology. AKA Laptops which save me from hand-written papers!
8. Sunshine
9. Flowers
10. Calm in the midst of the storm.

What is your favorite thing today?

Progress

You know it is the end of the term when papers are falling out of your binders, assignments are everywhere, and you are nearly missing deadlines.  Well that is the point of the term which I have reached.  I feel like my brain is in twenty places at once.
This is why I got very excited today when I made significant progress.  Bible study this morning, followed with a paper, class, gym, and research.  All in a day, I say we did good.  2.5 weeks left in the term and I can't wait to be done, 19 credits is too much!
One of my remaining assignments is for my Archaeology in Film class and I had to chose one film and analyze it's historical, archaeological, and anthropological accuracy and portrayals.  I have chosen to look at the 2010 Robin Hood movie with Russel Crow.  I have been having fun learning about the original Robin Hood legend and seeing the various ways Hollywood has chosen display the story.  Makes you think twice about what we take for reality simply because media portrays it one way or another.  Anyway, those are the thoughts from today's studying...

Faith and Healing

This term I am taking a class on Medical Anthropology.  What is this exactly?  It is learning how to understand each person's interpretation of health, illness, healing, and the sources and methods of that healing.  This becomes important in order to not appear judgmental or superior to others you work with.  Also, a person's understanding of these things can give one an inside look at some of their values, morals, and beliefs.

For this class I was asked to do a seven week long field study on peoples medical views.  I chose to learn more about peoples beliefs about the relationship between faith and healing.  Last night I met with a woman who broke her back when she was twenty years old and though the break did not paralyze her, it left her in horrible back pain.  She has spent the last thirty-five years trying to free herself from the constant pain she is in.  The results are an almost completely manually fused spinal column and more pain than she has ever had before.  My heart hurts for this woman who does not believe in the Lord, but claims atheism.  She told me that she suffers from depression and in our conversation, I could sense the extreme amount of anger she had in regards to the situation she was in. 

In contrast, I have spoken with a lady, also living in horrible pain, who has been filled with the Holy Spirit.  She explained how the Lord is the one who helps her cope everyday with the pain and that He is the only reason that her marriage or even her life has not ended.  Though she does not know the reason for her pain, she knows that God has a perfect plan and reason for everything.  She spends her day in a situation which most of us could not imagine.  However, she functions so that she can bless and encourage others.

I don't understand how people can go through suffering without the love of God.  God is the source of love, understanding, joy, and healing.  Is this not only another reason to let His joy shine through you and let His love be contagious to everyone you meet?  Think about all the people you see, pass, meet, and bump into everyday.  Can a simple smile spread love?  Can an "How are you today?" said to a stranger affect someone's health?  God moves in miraculous ways, could He not use a simple gesture to change a life?

I challenge you to go outside your comfort zone just one time a day and encourage a stranger.  Encourage someone whose situation you don't know.  Encourage someone who may be in extreme physical, emotional, or spiritual pain.  One smile, one complement, one wave... See what happens.