Day 3

Today is day three with no Michael.  Don't worry, I will not count down the next 365 days... At least not out loud. I got a call from Michael today which was short but wonderful. They are in Kuwait for in-processing and some classes before going in country.  Michael has never been a fan of Kuwait and it's 115 degree weather.  He sounds like he is doing well though. We are thankful that this deployment will hopefully not be as dangerous as last time but that also means he will have a lot of down time on his hands.  He has already sent me a little of thinks he would like me to ship over including elmo - last deployment's toy - his xbox, and legos...  Priorities right :)

I am finally out of our little duplex.  It was such a wonderful place for us the last few weeks but the moving and cleaning was a big job by myself.  We managed to get the few items we own into a 10x10 storage unit - those things are really small :)  My landlady was being much less than understanding about us moving out before our lease was up but thankfully the government is on our side and with military deployment orders she was forced to let us move out.  I am not very good at being pushy to get my way but I succeeded yesterday :)

I decided that the worst part of moving and cleaning the house without Michael there was the fact that I had to murder and dispose of all the huge bugs hiding within my home!  Now these bugs are not here because I am a bad house cleaner.  Actually I am very close to being a clean freak.  The bugs are in my home because this is Texas and they are every wear.  I don't like them to say the least.  The most terrible part is killing the ugly creatures because when you crush a cockroach they make a horrible crunching noise.  Anyway, you get the picture.  I added a picture I found of one simply for your enjoyment.  This is not what the bugs look like when I am done with them!

Anyway, tonight I will be staying with my friend Sarah whose husband deployed with Michael.  It is so nice to know that we are not alone through this trial.  I am excited to fly back to Oregon tomorrow.  Excited to see my friends, parents, and siblings.  Hannah told me yesterday we will be going shopping when I get home to find her a new comforter for her "pink" bedroom :)  I am glad I get a few weeks to let everything sink in before the rush of school starts.

Love you all and thank you again for your support through this time!

Emotions

Sometime I tell Michael that I don't know what to do with the emotions that I am feeling.  I love to be happy.  I love to smile, laugh, and I love how contagious these feelings can be.  Now I am not saying I am always this way, far from it actually, I simply strive for it.  Because of this, I tend to take all the emotions I do not care for and hide them deep within myself.  One of these emotions overtook me like a storm yesterday.  Yesterday I was overcome with sadness.
Yesterday when I woke, the first thought that passed through my mind was the knowledge that I would have to say good bye to my husband who I would not see again for several months.  I had no desire to even move.  As I laid there I started to pray for strength to get through the next few hours.  To be thankful for all the wonderful moments we have had together this summer.  One of my favorite passages flashed through my mind at that moment James 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience but let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing.  Needless to say, God gave me the energy and joy to continue through the day.  I was able to spend several hours laughing and crying with my husband before he had to leave.  We know that this next year will be difficult but we know that God has a reason for this separation and from experience we know that the deployment will make us stronger.  Please keep us in your prayers along with all the other troops who are deployed. 

A week of love

Few words can express the feelings and emotions that one experiences the few days before a loved one is sent off to war.  This feeling is not new to me, however, I still do not know how to process it.  Michael and I have learned to live the days before saying goodbye, spending time with each other, enjoying the moment, and not dwelling on the upcoming sadness. 
Last Saturday Michael took me on a road trip down to Austin to spend a day with each other.  We went to all my favorite stores including Lucky Brand, Calvin Klein, Fossil, and Oakley...  Michael spoiled me :)  We drove around the big city talking about what life would be like if we moved down there in a year to pursue our career. It was so nice to get away.

This week we started to pack up the house, rented a storage unit, found a place to leave the truck, and Michael started packing his bags.  It has a sad few days but it is exciting to think that a year from now I will be moving down here permanently, I will have my BA in Cultural Anthropology, and Michael will have completed his second combat tour.  How can so much happen in such a small amount of time?
Yesterday Michael took me out to my favorite restaurant, The Olive Garden, then we went and saw The Switch, and ended the evening by driving out to the training grounds and watching the shooting stars.  The past few weeks have been amazing and I would not change anything.  Deployments can be good for a couple.  They teach us to lean on the Lord for our strength and cherish every moment, every e-mail, every phone call.  We will covet your prayers as my husband heads out soon and I finish packing up the house.  Love you all and Oregonians...  See ya soon!

I love this summer!

So my dearest blog, I started you barely and then forgot about you.  I don't have anything inspirational or motivational to share with you tonight but simply wanted to share with you some of the events of this wonderful summer.  The past five and a half weeks have been amazing and Michael and I are loving married life.  We are living in a small duplex right off post which is amazing because I get to see Michael all the time during the day :)  We are savoring every moment we have together seeing that Michael is suppose to deploy at the end of the month.
What have I been doing to stay busy while Michael is working?  I have discovered that I have a passion for baking.  I have been trying new recipes and I must say I think they are turning out well :)  At least Michael is enjoying the home cooked food before he heads back to the sand box.  I also have been catching up on my scrap booking.  I have finished Michaels last deployment, our honeymoon pictures, and now working on our engagement photo shoot. 
Well this is probably a boring overview of the last few weeks but I will try to be better about writing.  Michael has a four day weekend coming up and he has hinted a trip to Austin.  I'll write after :)

Loves

Faith and Healing

This term I am taking a class on Medical Anthropology.  What is this exactly?  It is learning how to understand each person's interpretation of health, illness, healing, and the sources and methods of that healing.  This becomes important in order to not appear judgmental or superior to others you work with.  Also, a person's understanding of these things can give one an inside look at some of their values, morals, and beliefs.

For this class I was asked to do a seven week long field study on peoples medical views.  I chose to learn more about peoples beliefs about the relationship between faith and healing.  Last night I met with a woman who broke her back when she was twenty years old and though the break did not paralyze her, it left her in horrible back pain.  She has spent the last thirty-five years trying to free herself from the constant pain she is in.  The results are an almost completely manually fused spinal column and more pain than she has ever had before.  My heart hurts for this woman who does not believe in the Lord, but claims atheism.  She told me that she suffers from depression and in our conversation, I could sense the extreme amount of anger she had in regards to the situation she was in. 

In contrast, I have spoken with a lady, also living in horrible pain, who has been filled with the Holy Spirit.  She explained how the Lord is the one who helps her cope everyday with the pain and that He is the only reason that her marriage or even her life has not ended.  Though she does not know the reason for her pain, she knows that God has a perfect plan and reason for everything.  She spends her day in a situation which most of us could not imagine.  However, she functions so that she can bless and encourage others.

I don't understand how people can go through suffering without the love of God.  God is the source of love, understanding, joy, and healing.  Is this not only another reason to let His joy shine through you and let His love be contagious to everyone you meet?  Think about all the people you see, pass, meet, and bump into everyday.  Can a simple smile spread love?  Can an "How are you today?" said to a stranger affect someone's health?  God moves in miraculous ways, could He not use a simple gesture to change a life?

I challenge you to go outside your comfort zone just one time a day and encourage a stranger.  Encourage someone whose situation you don't know.  Encourage someone who may be in extreme physical, emotional, or spiritual pain.  One smile, one complement, one wave... See what happens.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Even when we were children and still learning how to tie our shoes, we were asked the famous question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" As Americans we are taught to have dreams, inspirations, hopes, and desires. Many of us are showered with toys and education tools which encourage and guide our talents and interests. As children we are told that we can change the world! We are told that we are brilliant and can do great things.

As the years pass I feel as if reality sets in and some of the passion slips away while we become more serious and realistic about the future. As we get older, the culture we live in urges us to pursue high paying careers and I feel like less and less emphasis is put upon those interests we might have in life. This society is so competitive and I feel as if we are, over night, suppose to change our mindsets from childish dreams to grown up tasks.

I don't understand why we have to choose between saving the world and having a responsible adult-like job. What if I wanted to change the world and make a grown up career out of it? What if more children held onto their heroic fantasies as they grew older? What might happen?

No matter where a person calls home, there are other individuals near who could use a friend, a helping hand, a glimpse at the love of Christ. What if community members were inspired to give five minutes a day, putting aside their desires to aiding, comforting, and loving someone around them? What if we took an interest in the community and political problems in the local area and what if we regained our childhood ideas of saving the world and took a stand? What would happen if communities stopped turning a blind eye to domestic violence, human trafficking, homelessness, hunger, substance abuse, and poor access to health care? Would we see a difference?

I can see God's thumbprint on every individual around. He has a purpose for each life, each moment in time, each act that is taken. Can communities be re-inspired to stand along side each individual despite race, ethnicity, social class, gender, and age? No person should be left to stand alone and no child should feel pressured to give up his or her dreams of changing the world.